Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
