Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he was CRYING into my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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