the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
