Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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