Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I wish i was in the wii world.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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