She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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