Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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