Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
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I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize