How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize