That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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