He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
