I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
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I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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