Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
