After last night, I could never be a politician.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
