after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize