she was so not down for the gang bang
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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