How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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