I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
