But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
