Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
