I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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