her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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