but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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