That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My cat gives me a boner
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I need a beard to bite.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
