none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
too bad you live with your parents still
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
