The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize