News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
how drunk are you?
Several
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
