I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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