i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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