I wish my penis had an off switch
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize