There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
