your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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