i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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