Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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