you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
