you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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