put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
