i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Randomize
