found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
