I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
