She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
i think im in europe. pls send help
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
