he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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