Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He better not be in your backpack
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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