last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
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I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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