Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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