his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
