She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
