no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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