he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
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She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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