Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize