I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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