do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
