I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
