I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
