I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
