There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
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in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
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Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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