my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
