clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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