Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
