he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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